Love ❤️

I remember being taken to see Titanic when I was a kid. So that movie came out in ’97 which puts me at 5 years old. Now I probably shouldn’t have been allowed to watch that. Theres some sex, nudity and oh yeah a bunch of people freeze to death. Jack and Rose are the two main characters, they’re from different walks of life and naturally they fall in love. Everyone around them hates it. He’s not “good enough” he’s poor. In the end he sacrifices himself to save Rose from the freezing cold water… even though there totally was enough room on that door for her. Now if you’re sitting there and you’re upset that I’ve ruined the movie for you. You need to take a step back and understand that you’re reading this on a computer, which means you have internet access, so maybe Netflix it, or download it because that movie is a fucking treasure. Its also sad that you haven’t seen it.

Aside from all the people dying I thought it was a cool movie. I thought what Jack and Rose had was amazing. That movie did however take a toll on me because even though my dad died I don’t think I really understood death. That movie spawned a ridiculous obsession with the Titanic. Like I needed to have shirts, puzzles, books and those National Geography documentaries, I was HOOKED. I even won an award for an abstract painting based on the Titanic. Yeah yeah yeah, I was a nerdy kid but I wouldn’t change it. Since the first time I watched it I’ve watched it probably 100 times. It sparked a love for love… and the Titanic.

Growing up I loved going to the movies. The thing about movies is that theres always a love story worked into them. So I had a lot of experience with love… But the things about the love on the silver screen is, most of the time the love is based on the girl saving the guy. Thats not really love, love shouldn’t be based around saving someone.

So whats love? Well its different for everyone, but the one thing I can tell you is that sometimes it hurts. I’ve been in a few relationships, a few where I’ve said “I love you” and a few where I didn’t. Each time its been different and each time I’ve ended up hating the girl I was with after we broke up. Each time except for the last time.

Love doesn’t turn to hate. Thats what I know, thats what I’ve learned. When you love someone you make sacrifices for them. When you love someone they become a huge part of your world. If you’ve got walls up, you let them in, give them a key. If you love someone the thought of them warms you, makes you smile, makes you happy. You begin to think about a future with them in it and it scares you a little but it makes you happy. Love is great, love is amazing and you know what, for all those things it makes you feel sometimes it hurts.

I had all of those things, it made me feel all kinds of happy and its made me feel a world of pain. I’ve had a lot of heart break and thats fine, each time I’ve experienced heart break I’ve learned something. I’ve been bitter, I’m actually a little bitter right now as I write this. I’ve used that heart break, the falling out of love to just be an asshole. But through all of it I’ve always believed in love. I forget about it sometimes but I’ll always believe in it. I think about it every day. To love someone, to love myself, to LOVE, means to conquer. I’m a hopeless romantic always have been always will be. I’ve been ashamed of that for a long time. And in my shame it made me a real asshole.

I believe in love. I believe that accepting love into my heart means that I’ll get all the things that I want. I believe that because I believe in love it means that one day I’ll have a daughter, I’ll hold my daughter, I’ll change her, feed her, read to her, help with home work, be there for her first heart break. Love means that I’ll come up with the most ridiculous way to propose to the woman I love, and make her happy every day. I’ve tried living the other way, they way where you just sorta hate things and all I can tell you is that its kept me from the things I want. Love means that I’ll forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve made and just learn from them. Love means that I’ll be happy, it means that I’ll get what I want and enjoy them.

Love will get you to where you want to go.