Sometimes I think I’m my own worst enemy. This decision to leave home and come to Finland has been the best decision of my life. Since I’ve been here I’ve gone out almost every night. I’ve meet people from France, Sweden, Germany, Holland, Russia, Malta, Italy, Argentina, and last night I even met an American. I love it, love meeting people from all over the world. It makes me feel like I’m at home because of all the friends I have at home.
Drinking here is amazing. They’ve got this gin and grapefruit drink and its amazing. I really do love it here. Last night however as fun as it was I was a little not happy. I wasn’t sad but I was just disappointed. During the day we don’t do much, mostly sit around and dick around. I watch Netflix and I write and edit my photos. I’ve been watching Modern Family. I’ve watched it before, and I think its just one of the most underrated shows on TV. It also doesn’t hurt that Julie Bowen is a stone cold fox.
My own worst enemy huh? I love the show and I love Phil as a character. He’s a duffus and that’s the favourite thing about myself. Claire and Phil sort of remind me of me and my ex. I know right? Just PATHETIC! Why can’t you just enjoy the show? Why can’t you just forget about her? Why can’t you just move on? You’re 5600km away from her, 7 hours ahead of her, the more and more I think about it the more and more I realize that this is just not the way it works. I’m going to miss her. That I should stop trying to move on because it’s like that scene in Inception where Arthur says, “Okay, here’s me planting an idea in your head. I say to you, don’t think about elephants. What are you thinking about?” to which Saito responds with “Elephants.” So yeah that’s where we are.
It also doesn’t help that I think I’m just bothering her. You know, we’re broken up and I should just leave her alone. I know she’s busy and I don’t want to get in her way. I think about her just being happy even if it’s not with me. You know someone she could be normal with. Oh well. So Where’s the positive in all this? I get to work on my self-control. So am I going to ignore her? No, but I’ll just leave her alone. Work, life, health everything, she doesn’t need this idiot here.