The look he gives her when he turns around makes her fall backwards on to the bed. There are tears pooling in her eyes. She reaches out to touch him, he swats away her hand.
“Fuck!” The top shelf comes crashing down. The pain shoots up his arm and blood starts to drip onto the carpet.
“Honey?” she comes towards him as he crumbles down to the ground. His bloody hands cover his face. They’re sitting next to each other.
“I’m a mess. An utter mess. Just leave.” No part of him wants her to leave but he that’s what he tells her. Now its her turn to comfort him, “When did this start?” It started after Brooke, it was a good way to wipe the slate clean. A way to numb the memory of the lifeless eyes. None of that makes it out of his mouth, “I know I have a problem.” They can’t have a baby with him being a drug addict. They can’t have this baby, she knows it. “Sid, I’m going to be here. Right here for you okay?” That’s what love is. Just because something is broken doesn’t mean the whole thing needs to be be discarded. She loves him and she wants to help fix the broken part of him.
The pregnancy and his drug habit have added to her stress levels. By all accounts however Sidney has taken strides to curb his addiction. He goes to see a councilor and attends meetings. She’s proud of him, the determination he’s showing quells her doubts. At group meetings there are people from all walks of life, people you’d never expect. Its eye opening for him to see that addicts don’t come in a single mold. The common denominator is that they’d like to better themselves. Sidney wants to show Halie that she can trust him again. He wants her to feel safe with him again. Lately his meetings have overlapped with her games as they’re both on Sundays. She hasn’t told her team yet and doesn’t plan to until the season is over. It getting warmer faster and the trip to Montreal is coming up. Halie has asked her parents to drive them to the bus train station. That way they can met Sidney in person and she can break the news of the pregnancy to her parents.
Walking through campus at the end of the year is amazing. The campus is brought to life with all the budding leaves and the sounds of all the birds. Most of the students are finishing up exams or already home. Sidney’s walking back home from a meeting. He and Halie are supposed to meet up later, she’s at practice. There aren’t any more games for her but the teams been invited to a tournament. She’s told Sidney that she plans to inform the team of her situation after the practice. When he gets home Taylor is moving his last box of his stuff into his car.
“Hey man!” Taylor’s waving at him, Sidney takes out one of his ear buds and greets him. “I’m heading out! But I’ll see you soon right?”
“Yeah, safe drive man. I’ll see you when you get back.” Taylor and Sidney have lived together for a while. They’re polar opposites of one another but its what makes them such good roommates. They shake hands, Taylor gets into his car and Sidney watches him drive off. When he turns on the light the apartment is almost empty, the TV is gone and so is the dining room table with all the chairs. Doesn’t matter, the only place he wants to go is his room. The lights burned out but there aren’t anymore light blubs so the curtains are open, letting in the light. He fumbles with the keys to open the top drawer of his desk. Inside, he pulls out the Hamlet book and then the small leather bound book. Inside the book on the last page there is a small bag stapled to the page. Inside the drawer is also a bottle of gin. He pours him glass after glass, its his reward for finishing those meetings, and for not doing the oxy that was stapled to the last page of the book. Soon the bottle is empty and he passes out in the desk chair, clutching the leather bound book.
Sidney jolts awake, there is a loud banging on his door, he doesn’t answer, he just lays there until he hears a voice
“Sid! Babe, it’s me open up please” he checks his phone 21missed calls all from Halie. In his drunken state he staggers over to the door. Slowly he opens it, his eyes red and baggy. Halie is on crutches.
“Sid? Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling; I was so scared, what happened to you? I tore my ACL and they sent me home!”
His head swirls in all the questions, he just stands there. She hobbles in, he has no clue as to what’s happening. She looks around and sees the oxy, the book, and the empty bottle of gin. Her eyes cloud up as she grabs the oxy
“Why? I had no idea you were this fucked up. Sid! I fucking trusted you!” He just looks at her as she hobbles over to him and gets right in his face
“ANSWER ME!” He looks at her, its time
“Who the fuck are you to come here and demand answers?” Now there are tears are falling from her eyes
“Sid? I’m your girlfriend, I’m the mother of your…” her upper lip is quivering.
“Just shut the fuck up bitch.” She looks at him, her eyes wide with tears falling from them in a hushed voice she says
“Sid. This isn’t you. I’m leaving. I’m leaving you…” she makes for the door, he grabs the bottle and throws it in her direction, it shatters against the wall. He runs after her and grabs her by her hair and drags her back into his room. She screams and pleads,
“Please don’t… the baby” He grabs another bottle from the drawer, she grabs it. He pries it away from her and kicks her in the stomach. She belts out a loud scream. He kicks her again and again then takes the bottle and takes another drink.
He looks down at her and kicks her in the face. Blood runs down her face, she whines in pain. Sidney stands over her watching her bleed and he smiles. He bends down and kisses her, he now has her blood on his lips, he rips her pants off, and she squirms and protests.
“Halie the more you move the more this is going to hurt.”
She kicks with her one good leg and scratches and claws at him but its futile. He has his way with her. After he is done he gets up, Halie is on the floor naked, covered in her own blood. She looks at him,
“I thought you loved me? Our baby.”
His clenches his jaw then he jumps on top of her and drops punch after punch on her face then he stops, reaches for the leather bound book, opens it to a page with her red underwear pinned to the page. He unpins it and shoves it in her mouth and then presses down on her throat. The book is filled with pictures of girls; under the picture is a pair of underwear, and a date. He shows her countless pictures,
“You see her she loved me, and her, oh she loved me, she even cooked breakfast for me, oh and this bitch she fucking loved me too!”
Halie reaches for a piece of broken glass and stabs him in the chest. He grabs the power cord for his laptop, wraps it around her neck and squeezes. He watches her struggle for air, her body goes into convulsions, her face slowly turns white and her eyes roll back in her head. She’s dead…
All eyes are focused in his direction, there is complete silence. “Very chilling, and you did this with all of your victims?” The lawyers voice is filled with disgust. Sidney sits in a booth with a blue suit and looks at the horrified courtroom. A woman in the front row clutches her daughter’s rugby jersey; she is being consoled by a man who gives a violent glare in his direction. All he can do is answer the lawyer’s question.
“No, I didn’t strangle all of the victims, sometimes I liked to look at them while they were in severe pain. Cutting them with broken glass. I even drowned one in a lake.” A woman in the front row yells
“You’re a sick bastard! How could you?” she glares at him waiting for an answer. He smiles “Its simple, I liked gaining their trust. I liked making them feel safe. I liked to feel normal for a bit and then revert back to what I am and do what I do best. I loved watching the life drain from their eyes. It’s the ultimate form of power and control. I’m not sorry for what I did because everyone in this room has had the same thoughts. Only difference is, I did what you couldn’t.” Silence falls over the room again once again and its like he’s back in the forgotten area of the library.