Walls and Waves 🌊

It still keeps me up

Not the guilt

Not the memories

Not the excitement

No.

The sadness

It comes in waves

Crashing against the foundations

Spilling over the sides

Battering the weather beaten walls

Each time the swell is larger than the last

But then there is peace, some quiet

The calm blue seas return

I can begin to shut my eyes

Let the crisp sea air fill my lungs

….

I’m rocked to sleep by a gentle breeze

The chaos is replaced by a soothing warmth

….

The spray wakens me

The crashing returns

Berating the walls

Waves spill over the tops

Water begins to flood in

I can swim but for how long?

It rushes in over the walls

Grey, Debris filled, Cold

But then the peace returns

The clouds vanish

The water warms

And

Floating towards me a picture

Its Water damaged, a boy a girl and a baby

The walls are crumbling

Brick by brick they float in the water

I hold the picture

I can see the clouds forming

I can hear the waves rolling in

Looking up I see the water

Its coming

I hold onto the picture

The boy the girl the baby

I place it next to my heart

The water slashes down on me the walls collapse

They give way and the water rushes in

I see nothing

I feel cold, empty, sad

I’m being washed away

The bricks, the debris, the cold water

The picture still in my hand

I should let go of it

My walls have come down

The ones I worked so hard to put up

They’re rebuilt everyday only to come down

They come down because everyday I miss her

Everyday something reminds me of that time

Everyday

My Walls come down

Everyday I try to rebuild them

Everyday theres some calm and some chaos

But everyday I miss you