Nights 🌙

A year ago if I told you we’d be here, would you believe me?

No, but you knew it waspossible

If I would’ve said that I’d stop being able to make you laugh

That my one superpower, making you smile no longer existed

Now instead of showing you that love, I do my best to show you nothing

I’m sorry if that hurts

If I told you a year ago that we’d be sitting at opposite ends of the city, me staring at a screen, you … Who knows

If I told you a year ago that we’d no longer be in love, what would you say?

Possible, but I hope not

What do we have now?

It isn’t love

It isn’t hate

Maybe a juxtaposition

I can close my eyes and hear you call me, “honey”.

Even now, when just the thought of you brings a sense of melancholy

I can close my eyes and hear you call me, “babe”.

This is hard

I can’t love you

I don’t hate you

It’s just different, please; let that be enough

A year ago we were different people

I know you’re doing okay

I hope you’re doing okay

Please be doing okay, where ever you are

You haven’t tried to make me laugh

You haven’t tried to make me smile

You avoid me, and maybe I avoid you, maybe this is harder that we thought

We knew this was possible, but I’m happy

I want to see you smile

I don’t think I can

Why?

I’m not ready

I’m scared

Why has this been so easy for you

Stop.

Goodnight