Blackout Drapes ⚫️

Like a fog rolling over a lake

Slowly coving everything in its path

There is a sense of beauty

Which is then replaced by uncertainty

Where did the sun go?

It moves closer and closer

Discomfort

How does this keep happening?

Suddenly the air is crisp

Each breath can be seen

The little paddle boat, devoured by the fog

Panic

It’s getting closer

It’s just fog

Silence

No birds, no little waves, nothing

Fear begins to set in

The crackle of ice rings out

It’s here

What were once small steps backwards have turned into a sprint

Turning your head, the silhouette can be seen through the fog

Through the woods

Snapping of twigs beneath your feet

The pitter-patter of the raindrops on the leaves

Behind you, the ground shakes

The sky above has gone from blue to grey to black

Ahead of you, a cave

Inside, damp, cold darkness

Outside…

Slow breathes

Steady breathes

Footsteps approach

A set of yellow eyes emerge from the darkness

It stands in front of the cave

Beating you down with its stare

Backing you further and further into that corner

Reaching out to steady yourself

Someone’s etched into the stone

A tally

Your tally

One, Two, Three…

The scraping of stone on stone

It’s closing the entrance

Get up, Fight, Run

Nothing

The opening closes

You take the rock to etch another tally

Cold, sharp, hard

You squeeze it in your hand, wincing in pain

Blood drips onto the hard ground

You reach out and touch the wall, feeling for the marks

Too many to count

Too many times the fog has come

To many times you’ve ended up, paralysed by fear, stuck in this cave

You scream, but no one hears you

Pounding the rock only breaks you

Waiting to be let out

This is no way to live

One minute you’re fine

The next, there’s this fog, this uncertainty, discomfort, panic and fear

You’re a hostage

A slave

The blood has stopped dripping, and your hand is sticky

You hold out the rock

“I can’t keep doing this”

Sitting alone in the darkness, night after night

Waiting to be let out

Uncertainty, discomfort, panic and fear

“My life.”

Slowly running the sharp edge of the rock up your arm

Each millimetre, excruciating pain

The blood spills out

Uncertainty, discomfort, fear, regret

“Fight”

Your breathing has slowed

Regret floods over you

And as you take your last breathes the entrance opens, and light pours in

Today was Bell Let’s Talk day, and it’s aimed at fighting the stigma associated with mental health. Sadly, each day people suffer in silence, afraid to reach out because of the potential for being judged or misunderstood. This can lead to dangerous behaviour and even death. I’ve found myself on some hard times, I’ve defiantly been the person trapped in the cave. I don’t think I need to say this but I will anyway. At times it can be hard, it can be all sunshine and rainbows one minute and then cold and dark the next. Those days can begin to pile together, add up and soon it becomes unbearable. The little things go ignored, and it’ll start to feel like you’ve got your own personal rain cloud following you around. But if you think about giving up, ending the suffering, and letting the darkness win, please reach out to someone because I can tell you that the minute you decide to go ahead with it, there is panic, regret and fear like you’ve never experienced before. It’s a journey and a fight but winning that fight or at least being in control of that fight, is so damn satisfying. Do not suffer alone, do not let whatever it is you’re facing win, speak up, fight, because one day it’ll all be worth it.